Respect comes in many flavors. Sometimes it’s the little things you do that are thoughtful and make life easier for someone else. In other cases it’s the little things that just make life a little bit harder, suggesting you don’t value the people around you. Forgetting payments to other vendors is disrespectful because it suggests that you have more right to their hard earned money than they do. Asking for things last minute and expecting people to jump is also disrespectful. Not honoring time by always being late can be disrespectful.

We all make mistakes as human beings. Having something like that happen once is one thing. You can loose your check book, forget or get caught in traffic! Things come up and change. Allowing yourself flexibility is good. If you need to do something that may require that you push boundaries on another person may be a sign of respect for yourself. However, if respecting yourself means you are constantly disrespecting those around you by not planning ahead or thinking of their needs, then perhaps you aren’t really respecting yourself. Respect should be a win win situation.

Disease can play havoc on planning. It can require neediness. Thankfulness and gratitude for those that go out of their way to be of assistance can mitigate many behaviors. Planning ahead as much as possible is also good. Knowing that a certain time of day or year or week is bad for you and warning people ahead of time allows them to plan with a bit more flexibility or even to say if they can’t make changes at the last minute. Realizing that everything is a two way street is respectful.

If you are on the other side of the demands (and I seem to be quite frequently this Mercury retrograde) it may mean being willing to stand up and respect your own boundaries and needs before giving into others. That can be hard, but it can also help your health. I worked with a woman not long ago who was also being treated disrespectfully and the question was, if the other person doesn’t change, is the relationship worth it? We each have to answer that question in our own way.

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Bonnie Koenig has been a licensed acupuncturist since 1999. She is passionate about helping people find real healing and real health. In the process she keeps asking about our attitudes towards sickness and health. Only by being clear on what sickness is, can we ever find health.

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