Considering What You Really Want

I have had to take this week to consider what I really want. I think sometimes if we open our options we may find the perfect thing in places we might not otherwise look. It’s probably particularly important to consider in terms of health. Let’s start with what made me think of this.

This week my car refused to start one morning. Finally it started. I’ve been thinking for some time that this spring I would need a new car. I was hoping to wait until about June or so but it will probably come sooner. I love my 1998 Honda Civic. It’s a coupe and it drives beautifully in the little snow we get in Seattle. I use the studless snow tires in the winter and that little car hugs the road. My husband and I went to a winter resort for cross country skiing and there was my little car in a parking lot full of SUVs. I loved it.

Looking around in the Seattle area, there seem to be few Honda Civics for sale used. Those that are have very high mileage. They also cost quite a bit more than I had hoped to pay. The new ones are just beyond what I want to pay. I’ve been focusing on this for awhile–trying to feel good and manifest the perfect car in my price range.

As I looked around, I realized there are other cars that are similar in size, fuel economy (some even better) reliability and also hold their value reasonably well (if not as well as the Civic right now). I have no idea how they handle in the snow, but I’ll be test driving the ones I like best and reading every handling review I can find on those I like. I can get a car within my price range pretty easily. It can even be a car with everything I want. It MIGHT be a Civic. It might be something else. At any rate, I know now that I can get a low mileage used car for the price I want to pay in a brand that has reliable track records. As I open myself up to that, I find that I can get a good feeling about the car I will buy, Civic or not.

Had I stayed with the mentality of I want another Civic because I so love my Civic, I’d be far more stressed. I’d be upset that I can’t get the car that I want at the price that I want to pay. Or I’d be jumping at the lower priced, lower mileage Civics that I see even if they aren’t perfect. I’d probably end up paying more than I wanted.

Very often we forget what it is we really want. We get focused on what we think it looks like (a Civic) rather than what it is (a reliable, inexpensive car with good gas mileage that I can drive for another 10-12 years). When we think about our body, it is easy to think that we want to look better, when we really want to feel better about ourselves. We may think we want better health, but we want more freedom to do what we want (which may or may not require better health). Looking deeper into what we really want can help us reframe our hopes and dreams into something that makes us feel good because it is achievable in a way we did not think possible before.

For those who are sick, consider what you really want. Do you want perfect health? Or do you want a body that doesn’t feel tired or in pain all the time? Do you want to never take any pills or do you want real health? Do you want health or do you want to stop being afraid or do you want both? It can be helpful to ask those questions because perhaps there are new areas to work on as you consider your body.

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Bonnie Koenig has been a licensed acupuncturist since 1999. She is passionate about helping people find real healing and real health. In the process she keeps asking about our attitudes towards sickness and health. Only by being clear on what sickness is, can we ever find health.

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